If you dislike me & get enjoyment out of my demise, you’ll enjoy reading this:

So in Australia is extremely easy to rent a car. With 40$ and a drivers license you can rent a car for the day. We got a hideous red compact Hyundai and were off to drive on the wrong side of the road.


Here’s a fun fact: Australia is home to the oldest rainforest in the world. So that’s where we decided to drive to. About 2 hours north of Cairns (cans) is the Daintree at Cape Tribulation. It’s also the only place in the world where the rainforest butts right up to the beach.




Sucks for us, but it’s currently the wet season here so naturally the road flooded out so we couldn’t make it all the way up the coast.


We instead went to Mossmans (Musmons) Gorge (1.25 hours above cairns) and went to check out the rapids that are in the forest.



A very nice couple who unintentionally fcked us, suggested we leave our trainers behind since the dirt path was flooded. So we took their advice and wanted to murder them for it. A 1.5 mile hike into the rainforest without shoes left us with no other option but to tie leaves to our frigging feet in an attempt to spare us some pain.


We finally made it to the gorge bridge (which was awesome despite the constant torrential downpour) && stopped for some pics. & that’s when I really fcked up.


I managed to allow our rental car key to slip through my fingers. It fell perfectly into the bridge hole & down into the deadly rapids.

I sat in the crouched fetal position for about 2 minutes in disbelief while all Erika could do was hysterically laugh. I too started to become hysterical and we trucked back through the down pouring rainforest, still barefoot. On our decent down to the visitors building panic started setting in. In Australia, everything closes on Saturdays pretty early. It currently was 13:00 and there was a chance the rental shop would be closing. Alone, in an Australian rainforest, no car, no money, no passports, no way to get anywhere, we ran to the visitors building hoping to god the car rental hadn’t closed yet. The Aboriginals at the visitors center were so kind and took pity on two stupid Americas. They let us use the phone and helped us find the rental agency’s number. By the grace of god it was open and they had a spare key. Unfortunately they had no way of getting it to us. Again, no money, no way of getting anywhere. We meet this really nice guy in Cairns who we booked our scuba trip with, and remembered he gave us his cell number incase we needed anything. We’ll Colin, our hero, managed to find a bus company who was coming up, to drive us the key. 3 hours later, we got the key. We were saved. Made for a great story and a lot of laughs, but it cost me 400$, since that is the cost of replacing the key. Could have been 10x worse so I’m starting to cope with that financial blow. Day 2 in Australia, I’d say successful.

One thought on “If you dislike me & get enjoyment out of my demise, you’ll enjoy reading this:

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